"Do not worry"

I just put these in the ground. My neighbor kindly gave me three bulbs of Lilies with the verse "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." Matthew 6:25-34.

I also received a bag full of seed bulbs in the summer, and they've started to bloom as well. As I looked at them soaking up the sun, I suddenly realized...
God is reminding me not to worry!

Sure these times can be anything but peace and love and comfort, yet still.. amidst it all, do not worry. Trust.

Holiday cookies.

These days I've been having my fill of holiday cookies, some of which I [helped] bake. The swirly one in the picture above is a chocolate vanilla swirl sugar cookie with peppermint candy bits in the middle. This was super fun but HARD to make! One quote I retained from the lady who was directing us... "This is hard, you're being so exact"
"That's because even one little mistake could mess the whole recipe up."

If my life were me baking a cookie, I wonder how precise the end goal would be. Am I cutting corners? Am I doing enough to just get by? Am I striving for excellency? Will I end up with a delicious cookie?

Thoughts to munch on this holiday season~ :)

Grace Like Rain

I welcome random seemingly obvious epiphanies.

Since I started Gardening, i realize it takes so much discipline and perseverance to water these plants everyday. It's tough business! So even when I get tired, i have to water them, or they'll die/not grow.

HOWEVER! There are some God-given lovely providential days, when the weather forecasts rain & showers. These days... the sky naturally waters my plants for me!!!
As I rejoiced in this realization, it hit me that, this is like Grace.

God, our father above, pours down His grace towards us, though we are undeserving. He helps us, when we are most weak and unable to handle ourselves. It's so nice to know that we have a father who takes care of us and knows our every need.

And we should be so thankful!

that time of year again, GEAR UP!

brrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

i feel imaginary icicles frollicking in my room. i feel my hands, very cold. i no longer feel my feet. Gotta wear them fuzzies indoors at all times. Cannot leave the house without a scarf and hefty jacket to layer. If you leave early in the morning, you should give your car a good few minutes to warm up from being frozen all night. IT'S HERE!!!!!!! WINTER~!

Just as much as we need to clothe ourselves extra warmly with multiple layers and fuzzy coverings, same goes for the internal and unseen. Though physical weather changes are more apparent and evident, our emotions and spiritual state can and will be affected by this present change in season as well. It can be swayed either way. Likewise, let's gird up ourselves, strengthen our hearts and will, in Christ Jesus- the one who's greater than the storm, stronger than the season. Put your faith in him, and you're clinging to a hope eternal. Let's do it!

Not just for champions.

Pumpkin Pancakes for breakfast anyone?
I firmly believe that what you eat greatly determines how you are.
Especially breakfast. Please eat breakfast before you start the day. Cars can't run without gas, and we'd be starting off with empty if we neglect our friend: Breakfast. It'll save you lots of funny noises from your unhappy stomach too (happens way too many times).
And once we nourish our physical needs, we need spiritual sustenance!
How bout pancakes, glass of orange juice and a chapter of John?
Put in good, put out good. Put in nothing, put out nothing. Put in bad, put out bad.
So let's take in the good, flush out the rubbish and eat whole and hearty breakfasts (Bible verses included). Don't skimp out, yeah you Self. (pointing at myself)

Peace, Anyhow.

This world is too crazy. Ecclesiastes 4 says it well, all too true. Many sad things, going on daily, beyond our control or power. Distressed with the chaos in my thoughts, I looked up and saw an olive tree. I'm thankful that I have a comforter through the trials - someone who enables me to have peace anyhow.

Open up the Skies

of mercy. Why, after it rains, does the sky become so marvelous? Yes, I was on the road to start my day when I snapped this shot from my phone. Instantaneous awe and inspiration flowed in for whoever designed this celestial masterpiece. Props to you, God of all creation.

Catch a Falling Star

..or leaf. Today I was walking Benji and I did a double-take after I saw the brightest yellow leaf on the ground. So I picked it up and brought it home. I wonder what makes us stand out among the other leaves.

Peaceful mornings

Today I finally addressed and reconciled some things that have been on my mind lately. I scribbled them out, point by point, on four blue post-its. Sealed them with a prayer, and took a deep nap. I woke to a sunny afternoon lunch with a peaceful heart.

Fastidious Feasting

There's a whole lot going on in this picture. Too much. This is what happens when God blesses a generous hospitable host who wants to feed us to the brim and over. Yes, that's my hand going for the side-dish. In the silver platter: Spicy Pork ribs. Still full, and it's been 24 hours since this meal.

Chasing Daylight

Ever wish there were more than 24 hours in a day?

Silver-Lining & all

Part heavy blue part dark grey skies pierced by a sudden burst of what i like to call 'egg-yolk' in the sky - the Sun, shades all things black in its luminous light. What on earth can withstand its light-saber-like force?

'Heart'felt Creation

Topped with crushed Grahahm Crackers, Honey, Chocolate Bits, Boysenberry Jam (the Heart), Greek-style Yogurt sprinkled with sugar on two layers of Vanilla & Chocolate bread. I call it bread, not cake, because it's hard :( I need to work on my cake-batter improvising skills (or actually follow a recipe).

Acrylic Attempt #1

I started painting at this woman from my church's house. She's an amazing artist and set up her home as a little studio where people can come and create masterpieces under her wing. I went twice so far, once a week. This painting is still in progress, but it's on hold because I have to study for GRE's.. Just a few crucial touch-ups and we'll be good to go!

Benjamin's Bliss

This was in the moment. 1/2 second later, he could have been frowning, growling or barking (which he hardly does, but he could have been). 1/2 second later he could have fell asleep (he actually was in the middle of a yawn). 1/2 second before he could have been whining or fidgeting around. All these do not matter, because in this moment, he is in bliss.

Lukewarm Side-dishes

This morning at the table my mom had prepared an array of Korean food: rice, bean-paste soup (tastes better than it sounds, especially on a rainy day), beef, and many colorful side-dishes. I slept in for breakfast so I guess this was sort of a brunch; I was hungry. Immediately I stuffed some rice wrapped in sea-weed into my mouth, mmmm. Then I went for the egg dish... I almost spit it out. It was supposed to be hot, but it tasted very very cooled on my tongue. Then I went for the soup which was supposed to be steaming, piping hot, enough to make me have to blow on it to take a sip. It was very much a room-temperature liquid, diminishing its effects of a satisfying bowl of soup on a rainy day. I'm sure my brows scrunched into my forehead as I walked over to the microwave and inserted the bowl inside. 30 seconds on high later, a signal from the nerves in my finger to my brain alerted me that the bowl I was touching was HOT! Happily, I carried it over to enjoy the rest of my meal how it was supposed to be.

I realize this was just a bowl of soup. But rather than criticizing the bowl, it made me want to examine my own temperature. How about us? Do we have particularly passionate lives ourselves.. or are we living lukewarmly? Has our steam gone out?

Do we need to be re-heated??

So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. Revelations 3:16

Dance, Math and Endurance

On Saturday we started a dance group, nothing crazy just learning how to do some basic stuff for people who are interested in getting better. Our friend taught us a piece from her hip-hop group. Initially, I could not keep up with the moves! Every time I started to get one down, we learned another faster harder one, and I couldn't connect the two together. I started feeling frustrated and hopeless, like I was never going to get it. I even thought, "I should just quit, I'm no good I'm no good, I look so weird, Why am I even here?

But after many run through's and going step-by-step from the top, it slowly started to sink in. It also helped that others were almost as lost (if not more) than I was (which made me secretly feel better). When we tried the routine with the music it was chaotic, but hopeful; at least we were able to mark the moves. After several more tries, I realized I was picking it up and felt really giddy inside. I'd come so far, farther than I'd ever imagined myself from when I first started.

So I'm studying for GRE's. And one of my arch-enemies in this life is Math. Oh how I loathe it beyond other school subjects! As I sat at Panera Bread trying to depict what x% of y% of z% x 9999 - the average of h .... was, I wanted to throw down my pen (yes, I do math with a pen, it's a French thing), scream, and never see another math problem ever again. however, I restrained myself and tried to interpret the mysterious question again. I ended up reading it over many many times before I slowly started scratching the surface of its meaning - hope. I'd come a lot further than I'd ever imagined from when I first saw this problem.

Endurance. Diligence. Perseverance, whatever you call it, you need it. You need to KEEP going. If you give up when it seems tough, that's how far you'll ever get. If you keep at it even though it feels you could die from frustration, you will experience progress, I promise. And isn't that worth a little pain? Remember, what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. And when you're stronger, just imagine what heavy things you can lift/shove out of your way. :)

SOIL or SPOIL

How to plant.. anything

The Soil is the most important part.
And apparently, you can't just dump a heap of it and expect it to grow, let alone survive. I was informed and demonstrated to today that you have to actually MIX the new soil [aka fertilizer] with the existing soil! Now why would you do that?

It's the same reason why we can't just consume loads of one vitamin. Even if vitamins are good for you, you can't just eat one and expect to be healthy. You need a balanced diet of a variety of foods! It's the same for plants too; if you don't mix the soils, it will not grow, it will die :(
I learned an important lesson today.

Too much of a good thing, even if it's good, is bad.

Baking Vs. Evolution

They say cooking is easier in baking, in that you are allowed to just toss stuff here and throw things there and Voila! You've created a Signature Dish!

Baking is not so, you actually have to follow the recipe to the exact measurements. If not, you can literally get attacked by a monster. My friend was trying to make something. She put a cup of mixture into the microwave, and minutes later we opened the door to gaseous fumes. First, everything seemed normal (beside the fumes). A couple seconds later, this charcoal grey BLOB starts oozing up from the cup! Of course we screamed... Finally we took it out and it looked like cancerous, frothy, tar, or dried lava. Anyways, not anything NEAR what it should have looked like.

So you gotta follow the recipe* (she said she did. so in this case, make sure the recipe you're following with is trustworthy).Today we have all the tools to help us bake/cook. And I still can't believe how precise you need to be. Even in cooking. Sometimes when a recipe calls for "one pinch" or "1/4 teaspoon" of something, I just don't put it in. What's the point, it's such a small amount! But surprisingly it makes the hugest difference, and can alter your ending product complETELY. Did I mention it has to be exact though? One time I put in 5 Tablespoons instead of Teaspoons of Baking Powder, and we got some NAAAAAAAASTY tortillas!

Anyways, this made me think about Evolution Versus Creationism. First of all, you can't cook without ingredients. In the same way, you can't evolve from nothing. And according to Wikipedia, "the Big Bang theory cannot and does not provide any explanation for such an initial condition; rather, it describes and explains the general evolution of the universe since that instant". Secondly, even if somehow "ingredients" appeared out of thin space, some "cook" had to have used the exact and precise measurements to create a habitable Earth, juuust the perfect distance from the Sun. "He" would also have had to have thrown together enough Bones for a sturdy structure, Muscles and tendons to fill in the gaps, blood to keep things going, organs to work for our health, skin and Hair to protect important parts, and teeth to be able to eat food; this is like the foundational cake. Tongues to experience the sweetness of fruits and treats, eyes to witness breathtaking and beautiful images, hands to be able to feel the warmth of a handshake, ears to hear melodious sonnets, noses to smell sweet aromas (or smoke): these are the icing. On top of that add the soul, spirit, heart. These are the whipped cream, nuts, and cherry-on-top.

This "cook" had to use exact measurements to ensure that bodies would function the way they are able to. Such an unprecedented masterpiece as this cannot possibly have just been "by chance" or even "thrown together". This is not even the art of baking. This is the work of a wonderful creator. "For the LORD is the great God... the LORD our Maker" Psalm 95

LIFE

I am so excited about LIFE.
I love seeing new LIFE.
Maybe that's why I want a pet, bring more LIFE to the home.
Maybe that's why I bought new plants and fruit trees, to cultivate LIFE.
Maybe that's why I love catching up with people and hearing about their LIFE.
LIFE LIFE LIFE
We only have one LIFE
Are we really living it to the fullest LIFE
Do we have true LIFE
where can we find LIFE
John 14:6- I am the way, the truth, and the LIFE
Jesus Christ = LIFE

Transmission

I washed my car today. Apparently I didn't do a great job because when I was drying it with a white cloth it turned black. Through this I witnessed "transmission" happen before my eyes. The act of passing something on in another place. The dirt on my car was transferred to the white towel. It has to go somewhere.
Just like our sins. Our black, filthy sins.
They can't just disappear. Either we pay the price for them,
or someone else does.
That someone else = Jesus Christ.

it'sa grind

{in iambic tetrameter}

Water the thirsty plants
Destroy unwelcome weeds
Research potential pups
Then munch on some munchies
Peek at a GRE book
Eat ripe fruit and just chill
Read a few chapters from a book
puis tuteur en francais
Listen to music, replay
Ponder and Sip on tea
Take a night stroll barefoot
Gaze up... Pray sincerely
witness a shooting star!
and don't forget to dream


random: Are violent burps the body's natural way of producing a heimlich maneuver?

On the Road Again!

Thurs-Saturday: Potentially last family trip
before we all grow up and get married!

Traveling Mercies God!



9/11: Back! What a blessed time.. there were moments in the beginning when I felt asd;flkj inside, of course [I'm sucha complainer]. But even through the short span of 2 days, walking the strip, getting well-fed from high-quality buffets, exploring together, I learned to cherish every precious moment. I really don't deserve to have such a wonderful family. Thank the Lord.

An $80 Lesson

Today, I went to the mall with some friends for the first time in awhile. Due to the nature of the evening, I had to have a "nice" dress; so we decided to browse around and *help Shalom find one*. Honestly, it was fun just walking around looking into each window to see what it had to offer. We walked into one dress store and started picking and choosing potential candidates, creating a mini-pile of options. One of the pool was turquoise with white and black stripes, which I called Tigress. (If my friends weren't there, I would never have even thought of trying it on). They were all 'cute' but a bit showy and suggestive. Then there was the "Wahn-jun eppuh" (completely pretty). It was black and velvety, and seemed on the more conservative side, while still being elegant and classy. We unanimously decided, "It's perfect." It was, *The One*. Sure a bit pricey, but what an investment! I could wear this to so many events~! So I bought it. Final Sale. No turning back.

I dropped off my friends, rushed home (only had 20 min. to get ready) tried on the dress and ran downstairs to show my brother and mom. "I'm ready! How do I look?" [smile]. [Blank Stare] Not the response I expected... Actually, I got: "I cannot approve" and a couple other comments. I was flabbergasted. But, it was perfect, it was the one. Didn't they know?? Can't they see???

But I ran upstairs and put on another dress, the one I'd wore for graduation (more flowy, longer, white and black). I was still confused in my head while I ran back down to hear an approving "Ah yes, that's better! That's the one!"

Shortly after I realized that I had been mistaken. I had been blinded and naive. I had compared the dress with all the other dresses in the store. However 'appropriate and perfect' it may have seemed then, it was exposed for what it was through the eyes of my family: tight-fitting, short, potentially suggestive, probably stumbling. I was so shocked, almost angry that I had let myself naively consider this dress "ok" to wear. I was so thankful that last minute I realized. Although this may seem a waste of money (and I don't have a desire to give to another sister), I am surprisingly not regretful of this purchase. I am actually very glad, and mostly thankful for this opportunity, this lesson learned. This will serve as a reminder, to open my eyes and consider not only myself, but how my decisions will impact those around. So before purchasing that cute shirt or nice dress, consider thoroughly.

recapitulate

After 1.5 sleepless nights back in the USA, my body is slowly readjusting.
But my mind is still in Osaka. I thank God for the amazing time spent in J-House. One month flew through my fingers as we waved goodbye to friends, new relationships developed in Japan. God showed us a thriving Christian community with passionate followers of Christ, living as lights among darkness. Everyday was such an unexpected blessing and testimony of how God moves in Japan.
3 days out of the week consisted of Church gatherings: Sunday Worship, Wednesday Prayer meeting, and Friday Big Wave Worship. Tuesday-Thursday our team traveled to Kansai, Kansai-Gaidai, Handai, Kangaku for Campus Evangelism in the form of "Funky Club"- MELT (My English Lunch Time), RUSH, ENT (Eat N Talk), etc. Meeting up with each new student was a unique experience and blessing. After getting to know them and develop a friendship, our role was to invite them to events; God brought them in. In each of the events we hosted, we experienced God's grace and providence in who came out and how the night went.
Each night after the event-filled day, we had "team-time". Richard used this time to share a devotional from a Bible passage. These were gold. Afterward we'd take the time to pray and ask God for the things of the day or at hand, to thank Him for his unwavering faithfulness, and to confess our sins before God and each other. I truly believe these times molded our team in our heads and hearts; it brought back the focus on the only thing that mattered: Are we loving God and His people?
Before we slept, small-group met in each respective room. It started well in the beginning, but only grew deeper as we were able to open up and share our thoughts and feelings- matters of the heart. We acknowledged the struggle, identified the sin, and confessed it. Proverbs 28:13, James 5:16.
I can say that after this trip, our team has grown deeper in the Word and has become more conscious of the words we speak- are they edifying and building up? or is it merely crude joking which serves no good purpose. The Bible says we will be judged for every careless word we say, and that the tongue of the righteous is choice silver (Proverbs 10:20). Therefore, being aware that words can either bring life or death, we should guard our tongues. In this I see tremendous change in our team, and I thank God that He allowed us to grow in this way.
One thing we all developed and would love to take home: the discipline of Morning Prayer. To start the day off with immersing yourself in the Word, what can beat that? Every morning at J-House, everyone gathers at 7 (6:55am), reads/devo for 30 minutes, then we sings songs of praise, pray together, then someone shares a devotional of the day. What an amazing thing! And a great challenge/conviction to apply.
God has taught me so many things. But most of all, to cherish His word, and to love Him by loving people, with the loving grace that He has shown us and loved us with.
Praise God. Give thanks always, in all circumstances, be an excellent worker, for you work unto God and not man. Let's continue to strive whether it be in Japan, India, Nicaragua, Uganda, or even in the US of A. May God's word dwell in our hearts and mold us daily!

Crunch Time

June 21 - 25 Preparation Week

June 27-July 2 Intensive Retreat

July 4 Commissioning Service

July 6 DEPARTURE @ 12:15am


Praise God for providing sufficient funds for the trip!
Thank you to all the supporters. Seriously.
However we still need a bit more for our team total. God will provide.
As the day we leave draws nearer, I feel more excited, but at the same time there is much to be done for preparation! Especially need more prayer.

Next week we'll be assigned our team roles and we'll be learning all our skits & body worship! We're bursting with ideas on how to present the gospel!
We're also going over a tool called "Lifebook" created by a Japanese Missionary to help share the gospel with the people. It talks about the Bible, who Jesus is, and addresses SIN. Hopefully we'll learn some useful Japanese phrases too!

Please be in prayer for our team unity and hearts as we prepare these upcoming weeks!
Thank you! =)

God may our hearts stay focused on you and your glory.

the CLIMB

honestly, it was very challenging.
hiking in the heat of the day, carrying gallons of water.

also, for food challenge/training,
we faced the RETURN OF BBEUN DAE-GI!!!
& the gasoline i mean Durian wafers.

I feel like these things are meant to remind me of how weak I am.
I especially hate the crunchy part. & the flakiness of the wafers..

But the good points we reaped from today:
1. Suffering together = Team bonding, Learning how to love each other.
2. Be prepared at all times to share the gospel to any stranger/friend.
3. Know your Bible. finally, Roll up your sleeves to avoid farmer's tan.


God is good & His creation testifies of His wonder & glory. Peace!

Destination; JAPAN! :)

This was a wall-decoration at our Cafe Night Saturday.
Keep trusting in God. He is Faithful! :)

Parallel Parking & Discipline

Living in LA has taught me to never take parking spots for granted.
It's not unusual to cruise around, sometimes even 20-30 minutes.
As soon as we see one spot open, we pounce on it like it's prey.
Of course, even the vacancies aren't always an easy fit.
Before college, I've never had to Parallel Park.
Living at the apartments, I only Parallel Park.

Usually it takes me an average of about 5-7 tries (reverse, drive, reverse, drive..)
And that's WITH assistance. When I attempt solo, it's around 7-10.
Maybe that's a little exaggerated, but reality is, I sucked!

That is why today was an unusual and happy day.
After coming back from a dorm dinner, I was in search mode for an open spot.
I've noticed when I pray and ask God for a spot, I find one right away.
I did, but I didn't specify the size; it was barely big enough for my Civic.
I drove up, reversed into it like I'd been instructed to do/done before.
TO my surprise, It only took me like 3 tries!!! hALLELUJAh!! :)

Of course, I'm not perfect at it (yet). But my passengers do notice a more pruned, confident, experienced parallel-parker in me than before.
This little episode not only left me really shocked and slightly proud of this achievement, I realized something. I do believe every aspect of life can reflect and serve as metaphors for a greater truth. Even something like Parallel Parking.

1) I really sucked at it.
2) I kept doing it.
3) I got better!

Simple, but true. Why not apply this to other aspects of life, like discipline?
I realize I'm not the only one who struggles with doing daily devotionals.
Our spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Maybe the spirit needs a boost too.
Anyways, although now we may be undisciplined, we (out of necessity) must keep at it.
And eventually, VOILA! It'll come naturally and flow out of habit/refined expertise.
Experience is the teacher. Even if it means lots of failed attempts.

LET'S STRIVE ON BROTHERS&SISTERS! :)

So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:26-27

"Super Saturday"

On top of the normal weekly Sunday night mission trainings, once every couple Saturdays we meet from 9am - 5pm. Today was one of those days.

It was surprisingly beautiful and enjoyable.
Location: a nearby park with friendly green grass and a lovely lake (with ducks).
Training: Open-air body worship, praising & dancing like no other.
Challenge: Culture Shock foods. 3 plates of- Durian wafers, Silkworm, Jackfruit, Some sort of chunky anchovy in a maroon sauce, some sort of mystery meat that looked like cat-food/tasted like spam, & lychee(that saved us- we ended up stuffing the Silkworm aka "Bbeun-dae gi" inside and then using the jackfruit to wash it down).
Lunch: Delicious Hot dogs- praise God for "normal" food.
Group: Here was the beautiful moment- we gathered for team time- found a nice patch of grass near the water, it was slightly inclined, slightly breeze-prone, warmly sunny on our shoulders/faces. Our teammate led us into "How Great is our God" and then "Heart of Worship". Eyes closed, I experienced peace just worshipping God and soaking His presence with my team..
Surprise: They had us fooled- we thought we were done with the funky foods. They saved the best for last- "BALUT!" A balut is a fertilized duck (or chicken) egg with a nearly-developed embryo inside that is boiled and eaten in the shell.
We definitely experienced involuntary gag-reflexes and questioned the strength of our stomachs when we saw the size of those eggs. The worst part was the smell (reminded me of a chicken coup in a farm - the smell stayed on your fingers even after soapage).

It was tough. Literally, they overcooked the egg so the yolk esp was very dry going down. x)

It's amazing how much closer you can feel with someone else when you both have to eat weird stuff together. I understand now why they made us go through that~

All in all, our leader was pointing us back to God, in hopes that we may grasp a little more of how Great and HOly and AWESOME He is. Right now, we don't see it.
1 Corinthians 13:12- Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

Tomorrow at Chapel, our Japan team will be selling Rice-Balls, Ramen & Tea as a fundraiser! All proceeds go to God's glory! :)

Still in awe,
Shalom